Sometimes I don’t know what to say

This morning I found myself struggling to pray. It occurred to me that I haven’t really prayed in a while. I mean, I talk to God about all sorts of things, quite often in fact. But today I felt like I needed (or wanted) to say something else, something more. I tried praising, confessing – it just wasn’t working.

I have a (mostly) daily rhythm of praying through the Common Book of Prayer (the Shane Claiborne remix) with my breakfast. I’ve had the stomach flu for the past week, so as you can imagine – I haven’t been eating breakfast. I also haven’t been reading the daily morning prayer. It’s always weird getting back into a routine, even one that I enjoy. So this morning after feeling off and weird, I sat down with my honey bunches of oats and prayer book.

Towards the end of the daily prayer I read these words:

“Lord, help us to be faithful, even when we face our own fears. Remind us that we are your children, even when we feel inadequate. We know that you have overcome giants and crosses and all things evil. Help our unbelief. Amen.”

Now, I’m sort of resistant to praying what other people have written for me to pray. I’m an artist, a writer, a poet, so sometimes I think – I don’t need other people’s words! Well, today I did. There was something so comforting about praying someone else’s words, which were exactly what I needed to say – but didn’t know how.

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