At a gathering last night we talked about open hands and closed fists. We explored what it looks like to live with our hands open or tightly clenched. As we sat in reflection, I thought about how I often don’t open my hands because I’m afraid. A closed fist means I am in control, nothing’s getting away, and no one comes in unless I want them to. But with an open hand, I am essentially giving away control, letting go of power, and accepting of whatever comes.
Yeah, that’s a scary thought. But I’m not just afraid of what can come in when my hands are open, I’m also scared of what will come out. What will happen if I actually let all of me show? What if I’m too powerful? What if I’m not good enough?
If I open my hands and then think about all the possibilities of what could happen, I am going to immediately close them again. That is way too overwhelming. Instead of thinking about the millions of ways I should be opening my hands, or all of the awful things that might happen, what if I just focus on right now? This moment. This step.
That cheesy saying comes to mind, “One step at a time”. While it might be over said and perhaps a bit trite, there is a deep truth to be learned in those words. I don’t have the strength in my person to open my hands all the time and deal with whatever comes. But I can come to God, offer my slightly open hands and say “What do you have for today? For right now? For this one step?”
And considering we have an all-powerful, completely loving God to walk with us, I think I’ll survive one step at a time.